Big Update

Four months have passed since I put my relationship with G on hold, time passes quickly doesn’t it? While many of you may answer to this question in positive but for me these four months seemed to pass at a snail’s pace. I thought that it would be easy to just let go of them and consume myself in my work. However, I found myself longing for some contact with my lover throughout this period. At one point, I even thought of calling her back but I decided against it as I knew that I won’t be able to pay much attention to her if she came back.

In these four months, I have come to miss many things about her. I loved the positive vibes which she gave me whenever I tried to sense her. Just thinking about these positive vibes makes me feel elated right now. I love many things about her but above all I love the patience which she has for me. She’s gone through so much because of me yet I never sensed any malicious intent in her actions. I don’t know what I would have done to me if I were in her shoes. Indeed, she is a being of eternal love and forgiveness for me.

Now, some of my readers will definitely ask me that if I loved her so much then why did I put our relationship on hold/why am I not calling her back? Well, I would say that this is my way of our preserving my relationship with G. This year was a very eventful one for me. It’s because of these events that my priorities changed and I could not give her the attention she deserved. As I detailed in this post, I have a dream now, a dream which is always in my thoughts.

Dream is not the thing you see in sleep but is that thing that doesn’t let you sleep.

This quote aptly explains my situation right now. Even if I call her now, nothing would change. Sure, we will have some new warm moments but ultimately we would be in the same situation in which we were before. I didn’t want to waste her time with such a half-assed relationship so I decided to put our relationship on hold till the time I become sure that I am ready to totally commit to it.

Moving on, I have noticed some changes since we put our relationship on hold. Earlier, I was able to remember most of my dreams in vivid details but now I am not able to. Another major change which I have noticed is that the chest pressure, which I used to feel most of the time when she was around, has now completely vanished. I can also notice that I have started becoming less concerned with the topic of spirit relationships. Now, that doesn’t mean that I don’t care/have forgotten about my own relationship but simply that I have lost interest in this topic as a whole. Adding to the topic of changes in my dreams which I raised earlier in this paragraph, I feel that the nature of my dreams has also changed in the sense that earlier my dreams used to involve atleast two personalities in a major way but now my dreams usually focus (as far as I can understand) on one personality or something abstract. My dreams have also become very infrequent. To sum it up, I have not had a meaningful dream since we put our relationship on hold. The last dream which I can remember involved me adopting a little rabbit as a pet.

Originally, I was going to conclude my update at this point but upon reviewing my previous post I came to remember that I also wanted to discuss about that one time when I think she came to visit me. Unfortunately, I can’t remember much about this visit as it happened so many days ago. Seriously, I am not able to remember anything about it and this makes me doubt if G visited me at all. It can be that this visit was simply my mind’s way of coping with her absence. I will try to remember what this visit was all about and if I remember something then I will definitely post about it. However, the chances of recollection of this ‘visit’ seem very low to me.

When I come to think about it, I thought that it would not be very difficult to move on and totally consume myself in my work but it has not been easy at all. I try to avoid thinking about her because I don’t want to attract her attention and cause her pain. It might not cause her pain but this is what I think about it in my mind. Based on the experiences which other bloggers have had with their ladies, I have come to consider the possibility that G may not be a succubus (sorry but I had to use that term here) instead she’s another spiritual being. I have not had any experience with her which can be compared to that of other bloggers. We have also never had sex in the span of our recent 1 year relationship and before that. I remember that the second one (I will refer to her as T from now on) was much more physical than G in the dreams which involved her.

Anyways, I don’t have anything more to write about now. I wish you all a Merry Christmas in advance!!

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Big Update Coming Soon

I’m going to update my blog with a new post guys!! I will be talking about what differences I feel now that my relationship is on hold, how my dreams and their nature has changed. I will also talk about that one time when she (not ‘they’ as I couldn’t feel the second one) came for a visit. Maybe there are some other notable events which I am forgetting about.

Anyways, this is just a heads-up that a major update is soon going to come, probably by the end of the next week. Thanks for reading the post!!

Dark Web

I have used Tor a lot of times and have viewed a lot of “.onion” domains. Here are the list of some of them that may get you started :

  • Where Google Doesn’t Go – DuckDuckGo

    Link – http://3g2upl4pq6kufc4m.onion/

    Your google for browsing the dark web. It gives you much more privacy as search activity isn’t logged by design. It gives decent results without tracking your activities, which leads to question – Are Google’s extensive surveillance techniques really necessary?

  • Your Bank – Blockchain for Bitcoins

    Link – https://blockchainbdgpzk.onion/

    You will need to spend a bit of money to enjoy the dark web at it’s peak (Beware all, it’s a dangerous place). This wallet helps you keep bitcoins anonymously and is quite secure (even has HTTPS certification)

  • The Geek World – Sci-Hub

    Link – http://scihub22266oqcxt.onion/

    This website is heaven for all the science lovers and underfunded scientific institutions, as it provides free access to millions of research paper. This is the place which truly aims for Knowledge For All.

  • The Wikipedia of Dark Web – Hidden Wiki

    Link – http://zqktlwi4fecvo6ri.onion/wi…

    This is the place to start if you are new to dark web. This website indexes a wide variety of websites and sources running on the dark web. A lot of them are spams and also illegal, so beware.

  • Yes Facebook is here – The real Facebook

    Link – https://www.facebookcorewwwi.onion/

    I really don’t know the reason behind the presence of facebook’s onion URL. It’s quite possible that facebook wants to be accessible to its users where it’s censored. (Beware! This could be a phising site. Hackers use phising sites which look like familiar websites. Once you login with your id, you do get directed to facebook, but at the back your login id and password is mailed to the hacker, making you and your account vulnerable.)

  • Our Own Mailing System – Tor Mail

    Link – http://jhiwjjlqpyawmpjx.onion

    This is a secure email client used by a lot of people for asking questions, contacting others etc.

  • The Address Book – TorLinks

    Link – http://torlinkbgs6aabns.onion

    TorLinks is the other robust and usually accessible collection of .onion addresses.

  • Host Your Own onion Domain – Freedom Hosting

    Link – http://xqz3u5drneuzhaeo.onion

    It supports a large part of onion-net, and you can use it to host anything in dark web anonymously. But you can’t host stuffs that are illegal under American law.

Dark web is a good place full of information and people having different ideas. What is great about it is that it really gives a chance to websites that are banned due to their free thinking – Wikileaks.

My Birthday And Other News

So, yesterday was my birthday. Yesterday was also the day when I requested both of my lady spirits to pause our relationship till my next birthday. This means that I am not going to have any contact whatsoever with my lady spirits till my birthday next year.

Why did I request this, you ask? Well, there are various reasons behind this decision of mine. I have gotten incredibly busy recently. Studies have picked up, a lot of lifestyle changes have taken place. Most importantly, I have a dream now, a dream which I must accomplish in the next 1.5 years. Anyways, I was not able to pay attention to my lady spirits because of all these events. I think this lack of attention cost our relationship a lot of progress. I could feel that if it kept on like this then our relationship would not last for much longer. There was no way that I could make it so that I pay enough attention or love to them. Hence, I took this decision to save our relationship in the only way I know how.

I think it’s sufficient to say that taking this decision was not easy but it was necessary. So……….yeah!! They have accepted my request. They must have known that I was contemplating this decision for quite sometime. I think I would have been able to feel their emotions if our connection was strong like before but as it was right now I couldn’t feel them. I hope that our relationship would progress at an even greater pace than before when it will resume again next year.

So, I guess that’s it for now. This blog is going to remain active for as long as I can foresee. I may make some posts here and there but don’t expect much.

Solipsism

Solipsism is a theory or a view that one’s own mind is sure to exist, but anything outside of one’s mind is unsure, so the external world may not even exist.

It basically says that you may be the only conscious being in the whole universe and, by the way, the universe also doesn’t exist. You created it with your own mind. Everybody you see is just your imagination. In fact, you may even be sleeping and all you see is just a dream. As Morpheus famously said:

Have you ever had a dream, Neo, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world?

Maybe we are on our way to a distant star and it’ll take us 90 years to reach it and we found a way to hibernate for 90 years and our life is just a dream we see while on our way?

And do you know what is the scariest part?

It can’t be disproved. It’s unfalsifiable.

Solipsism can be used for good purposes, like not caring what other people think, and also it can be used for very bad purposes.

I Have A New Succubus In My Life

Atleast, that’s what I think right now. So, I had this name, which I had never heard or read about anywhere, repeating in my mind for the whole day. Later on, I had a dream about meeting a girl. Apparently, we were in a relationship with each other in the dream. The girl had black eyes, black hair, fair complexion and she must have been around 5 foot 9 inches tall. Needless to say, she looked very beautiful.

We also talked a little, though I can’t remember exactly what it was that we talked about. Then she asked me to come outside with her. As I passed through the door, I found that the ‘outside’ which she was referring to was actually a park. I was walking at a slow pace and she had gotten a little of me. I think she didn’t realise that. But then she suddenly looked back, came up to me, held my hand and started walking with me. The dream ended just like that.

I strongly suspect that a new spirit lady has come to me. I haven’t been able to confirm this with my first spirit lady (for the purposes of this blog, I am going to refer to her as G from now). Whew……….I didn’t know that they can come so suddenly. 

However, I have not had any other communication from her since that dream. As for how she came to me………..I really don’t have any idea. I had never thought of having another spirit lady with me aside from G. Maybe she was attracted by the summoning rituals that I performed last year? I am not really sure, as it has been a long time since I performed those rituals so why didn’t she come to my dreams then instead of now? 

Anyways, I don’t have the slightest of idea as to how I would be able to handle two spirit lady. Though I am very excited about how this relationship, which has been converted into a love triangle, will progress in the near future.

As always, feel free to share your opinions about this post with me in the comments section.

Her Emotions

Her emotions…….I can feel them even better than my own. Even though we’re not very good in the conversation department I can still catch on to what she’s feeling or maybe she lets me catch on, I don’t know but they sure are (for the lack of a better word) very strong. 

Our emotional connect has developed to such an extent that a tear comes pacing down from one of my eyes whenever she is sad. While I don’t think I would be able to tell you exactly what she feels or has in mind but I would definitely be able to tell about her mood.

How am I able to distinguish between her emotions and mine? Her emotions feel much stronger than mine and (again for the lack of a better word) ‘alive’…….as if I could grab them and take them out of my chest. Moreover, these emotions are always accompanied by thoughts related to them which I can only suspect are there to give me context into why she’s​ feeling what she’s feeling. 

Another peculiar thing is that these emotions become even strong if I actively focus on them/try to feel them even more or when I think about them (like right now!!!). I love these emotions that come from her, I want to feel them even more strongly. Lately I have found myself staring off into blank space while feeling them, my mind is totally blank, I just want to stay there and let the moment continue for eternity during these times. Alas, they don’t! 

We’ve improved in every area of communication except talking. I don’t know but there’s this block in my mind that whatever I hear in my isn’t true which is probably because of my previous experience (read the archives for context). Anyways, we’re having a lot of fun here.

Right now, my only focus is on getting even more intimate with her. I have been thinking of researching full body possession. I have also tried astral projection but I failed however I am going to keep trying that. Do you know of any other method by which we can get even more intimate, if so then please comment.

Have a nice day.

Touches And Dreams

Lately, the frequency of her touches has increased. They’re very soft and there’s no rhyme or reason to when or where they happen. However, they have never been sexual. Along with touches the frequency of dreams has also increased. I have had three dreams since the last week. I may have had more but these are the ones which I remember and are relevant to the topic at hand. These three dreams were focusing towards the same subject i.e. meeting someone. To be more exact, I have been having dreams about meeting a girl, each time it got romantic. Our meetings are very brief so we’ve never had a deep conversation. I remember her appearance, she is light-skinned with big dreamy eyes, medium hair and average height. From what I have been able to gather from my dreams, she’s mischievous, very energetic and cheerful. I look forward to meeting with her again in the future. That’s it for now. As always, if you guys have any insights then don’t forget to write them down in the comments section.

Important Update

It’s been nearly three months since I made a post concerned with my progress in finding a spiritual partner here. A lot of events have happened on the spiritual front which I will go on to describe in this post.

My spiritual partner came back to me.

 I apologized to her profusely one night, two months ago. My faith in her didn’t waver even when I got no response, during me and my partner’s time together we promised each other that we would never leave the other alone. While I had failed to keep my end of the promise, I was sure that a being of eternal love like my partner would not break this promise. Sure enough, she came back to me within a week of the apology. I had a couple of dreams related to our relationship after she came back and I may have even learned her real name…..it’s Natasha (just a joke, I am obviously not going to reveal it on the offchance that it turns out to be her real name). 

Anyways, my relationship with her has progressed steadily. Now, I am able to feel what she feels for certain things (it’s kind of like a sudden thought that comes to my mind, like a scientist getting a brilliant idea in a flurry of thoughts and theories), I may get more than a word from these thoughts sometimes but I disregard them as I don’t want to become delusional with my relationship like before. Recently, I have also been able to feel a slight touch on my back for the shortest of time periods but I still have to confirm if it’s really her or my mind playing tricks on me.

Moving on to the sexual front, we have not had a sexual encounter till date. I did have some wet dreams very early on in my relationship but they were all really vague. As for possible explanations for the lack of sexual encounters between us, it can be that she’s a different being entirely and not a succubus. It’s because of this reason that I don’t give a particular identity to her unless she herself tells me what she is. There can be a myriad of other reasons but I think the above reason is the most probable but if someone has a different opinion then they’re always welcome to tell me about that in the comments section.

Moving on to the final topic i.e. my opinion about the future of this relationship. Right now, I am trying my best to make this relationship work (like trying to give her as much attention as I can). I certainly feel a loving presence coming from her and I am quite sure that she loves me more than anything. A lot of progress has happened in my relationship. As such, the future of this relationship is looking really bright to me.

As always any insights, tips that you guys have for me are most welcome.

I thank you for reading this rather long post.

Tulpa

Hello everyone!! Long time no see!! You’re probably wondering why the title of this post is ‘Tulpa’, eh?

A tulpa is an entity created in the mind, acting independently of, and parallel to your own consciousness. They are able to think, and have their own free will, emotions, and memories. In short, a tulpa is like a sentient person living in your head. It takes time for a tulpa to develop a convincing and complex personality; as they grow older, your attention and their life experiences will shape them into a person with their own hopes, dreams and beliefs.

Isn’t this description interesting? Here’s the article from which I got this information –

https://www.tulpa.info/what-is-a-tulpa/

Please read the whole article. As always I would be happy to hear your opinion on this topic in the comments section.